Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My dick has a subreddit
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
