When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
