our cab driver is having phone sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize