So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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