Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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