College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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