K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize