You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
