I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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