I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
