Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
