I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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