A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
