I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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