imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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