i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
