is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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