No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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