Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
