God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
PANTIES FOUND
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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