Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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