One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
