you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
