On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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