yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
