But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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