I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
