I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
