I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize