Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
