If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize