i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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