Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
