I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
