Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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