The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
