party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
They took my balls.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
