Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
