I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
