So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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