he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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