Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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