they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
