New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I want is dick and wine.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
