I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
