Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
