OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
