"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
