actually, I'm a sock model
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So much Jack, so little girl.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
