Where is the hickey?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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