Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
