Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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