When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
