We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
