Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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