i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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