I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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