I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
