I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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