i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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