You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
